Lecherous
by Funkiechick
Summary: Gryffindor decides to remind Ron that he makes completely un-neccessary and revolting comments...but they love him anyway. R/H.


Lecherous  
  
By Funkiechick  
  
  
(Not really an R/H. I mean, it's more of a Ron comedy fic, with all of Gryffindor in it. It has some R/H though. But not really romantic wise. It's kinda more teen jokish. Pg-13. Have fun)   
  
"I do not." Ron said stubbornly, as he chewed on some chocolate whilst sitting on one of the common room sofa's. "You don't know what you're talking about."   
  
"I do so." Parvati snapped back. "You're nice and everything Ron. And we all love you, but you can be SO sick sometimes."   
  
"I'll second the notion." Angelina piped up.   
  
"Name on example. One." Ron said through gritted teeth, as he chomped on more chocolate. Lavender pretended to be thinking from her spot in a chair opposite of Ron.   
  
"Hhm, does 'Can I have a look of Uranus Lavender?' sound familier to you?" she replied. Fred and George burst out laughing, and Harry tried to hide a chuckle from his spot on the couch.   
  
"Shut up Harry." Ron snapped. "And come ON. If I hadn't of said that, someone would have. It was right in the open."   
  
"You're lucky she didn't smack you." Harry added. Ron glared at him.   
  
"Are you my best friend or not? Honestly."   
  
"Accept it Ron." Fred said, walking up to him, and thumping his hand on Ron's shoulder (and since Ron was now about 3 inches taller than him, he had to reach up slightly). "All the Weasley men are slightly perverted. Minus Dad and Percy." He wrinkled his nose. "Good thing though. Wouldn't exactly want to see Percy sauntering around asking Lavender if he can see her-"   
  
"Can we stop talking about that??" Lavender burst in, turning red.   
  
"Don't be like that, Lav." Seamus grinned. "It's sort of a compliment actually."   
  
"Not all girls are blessed with your-"   
  
"SHUT UP LEE!!" Lavender screamed.   
  
"Chee." Lee pouted. "TouchEE."   
  
"Back to the point." George said. "All Weasley men are sick minded, minus Dad and Perce."   
  
"But Ron especially." Alicia broke in.   
  
"I'M NOT."   
  
"You ARE." Katie insisted. "We can prove it."   
  
"Then go for it." Ron said, folded his arms across his chest. "I'll give everyone free reign over my new box of sugarquills."   
  
"I'm game." Dean said. "Lets start with me saying a word, and you saying whatever first comes to mind. Ok?"   
  
"Sure." Ron said, still irritated and being named the Gryffindor pervert. "Shoot."   
  
"Breast."   
  
"That is just UNFAIR."   
  
"Be serious, idiot." Ginny said sharply, whacking Dean on the side of the head. "I'll do it instead, we'll get nowhere with a guy." She sat next to her brother.   
  
"Where's Hermione?" Parvati asked. "She should be watching this."   
  
"Studying for O.W.L'S ofcourse." Ron answered automaticly. "She said if we bothered her she'd grate our skin like cheese and feed it to the giant squid."   
  
Everyone blinked, and decided not to bother Hermione.   
  
"Ok." Ginny said. "Chair."   
  
"Dancing."   
  
All the girls rolled their eyes. "That's our brother." Fred said proudly.   
  
"This is stupid." Harry said bluntly.   
  
"Foot." Ginny said.   
  
"Massage."   
  
"Book."   
  
"Hermione."   
  
"Glasses."   
  
"Harry."   
  
"Bikini."   
  
"Fleur." All the girls made disgusted remarks. "What?" Ron insisted. "It's FLEUR."   
  
"He's got a point." Seamus said.   
  
"Let me continue." Ginny said. "Beautiful."   
  
"The Gryffindor girls.   
  
"Ron, that's so sweet." Angelina smiled.   
  
"Very innocent." Katie added.   
  
"No it's not." Colin said from across the room. "Look at his FACE."   
  
The girls did so, glared at Ron and rolled their eyes once more.   
  
"WHAT?!" Ron insisted.   
  
Everyone sighed, and Ginny continued. "Cloths."   
  
"Off."   
  
"RON!!"   
  
"WHAT?"   
  
"I can't do this anymore." Ginny sighed. "You disgrace the family."   
  
"Oh shut up." Ron growled. Harry took over.   
  
"Girl."   
  
"You don't want to know."   
  
"You make me sick." Alicia said as all the guys burst out laughing.   
  
"Divination." Harry said through chuckles.   
  
"Incense." Ron said. "The spicy kind. Don't know why, considering there isn't any spicy kind in divination."   
  
"Spring."   
  
"Lavender and Parvati."   
  
"Why?" Parvati asked, blushing.   
  
"I dunno." Ron shrugged. "It just DOES."   
  
Lavender and Parvati both burst into giggles, and they smiled at him flirtaciously. Seamus was looking slightly peeved, and Fred and George were wondering how their brother had managed to be smooth without really meaning to.   
  
"Squid." Harry began again.   
  
"Hermione."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"She did say she grate my skin and feed it to a squid not 10 minutes ago."   
  
"Good point. Victor Krum."   
  
"Idiot."   
  
"Yule Ball."   
  
"Confusing."   
  
Ron suddenly blushed, and avoided eye contact with everyone in the room. They all knew what he ment by THAT.   
  
"Brown."   
  
"Hermione's hair." Ron said.   
  
"Candy cane."   
  
"Hermione." Everyone looked at him. "She smells like candy canes. Honestly." Ron said defensivly. "Smell her."   
  
"Riiiigght." Harry said, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"Most people don't make it a habit to go around smelling people, Ron." Katie said. "Unless they hug a lot or something, then you can't help it-"   
  
"MOVING ALONG. HARRY!" Ron spat out, blushing furiously.   
  
Harry grinned. He asked for it. "Malfoy."   
  
"Bastard."   
  
"Blue."   
  
"Hermione's ball robes."   
  
"Chess."   
  
"Kicks ass."   
  
"Pansy."   
  
"Has a huge rump."   
  
"She DOES too." Alicia agreed.   
  
"Rita Skeeter."   
  
"Bitch." Ron said.   
  
"Pretty smile."   
  
"Hermione and Angelina." Angelina blushed. "You do!" Ron insisted. "You and Hermione."   
  
"Laugh."   
  
"Parvati."   
  
"How come?" Parvati asked, after she and Lavender finally finished giggling.   
  
"'Cause you have a nice laugh." Ron shrugged once more, and Parvati started giggling again. "Can we move on, Harry?"   
  
"Proffeser Flitwic."   
  
"Squeek."   
  
"Ron Weasley."   
  
"Is not lecherous."   
  
Harry grinned at his answer. "Oliver Wood."   
  
"Nice guy."   
  
"Orange."   
  
"Cannons."   
  
"Hermione."   
  
"Perfect." As soon as the words came out, Ron covered his mouth with his hands. "I mean-no..uhm...SHIT."   
  
Everyone grinned at him, and Harry put his hands behind his head, and leaned back. "My purpous if fufilled."   
  
"YOU MEANT TO DO THAT?" Ron shouted.   
  
"We wont tell Ron." Ginny smiled at her brother.   
  
"Speak for yourself." George laughed.   
  
"No one has to tell me, I've been here the whole time." Everyone looked up sharply to see Hermione sitting opposite of Colin, looking up from a book. "You just didn't notice I guess."   
  
Ron was beet red, and looked like he was ready to hightail out of the room. But Hermione closed her book and stood up.   
  
"I agree with two things tonight. One-Yes Ron, you are a pervert. But we all love you anyway, because you're sweet. And two-Yes I am perfect." She smiled, and with that, she walked over to Ron, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. He kissed her back after recovering from shock, and she pulled back. "Good night everyone. Good night Ron."   
  
"Night Herm." Everyone chanted.   
  
"Nigh-hi-hite." Ron stuttered, his voice breaking. She went up the girls dormitory stairs, and everyone looked over at Ron expectantly. "Well." He grinned. "Glad that's over with. I didn't even have to SAY anything."   
  
Everyone laughed, and then silence followed. What would they do now? They just shrugged and did the only thing they could do.   
  
"G." Lee said.   
  
"String."   
  
"RON!!!"   
  
"What??"   
  
END 


End file.
